


a sort-of double date

by chadsuke



Category: Naruto
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-21
Updated: 2020-04-21
Packaged: 2021-03-01 17:09:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,363
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23770615
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/chadsuke/pseuds/chadsuke
Summary: Naruto needs to make ABSOLUTELY sure that Iruka-sensei's date with Yamato-sensei is beyond perfect.Sasuke just wants to go home.
Relationships: Uchiha Sasuke/Uzumaki Naruto, Umino Iruka & Uzumaki Naruto, Umino Iruka/Yamato | Tenzou
Comments: 4
Kudos: 151





	a sort-of double date

**Author's Note:**

  * For [hkandi](https://archiveofourown.org/users/hkandi/gifts).



> this was part of a fic trade with hkandi uwu. you can read the fic they wrote for me [here](https://archiveofourown.org/works/23736763)!!

“Naruto… please tell me you’re joking,” Sakura says, folding her arms and lifting an eyebrow at her stupidest teammate. “THIS is the big emergency, really?”

“Yes,” he says stubbornly, glaring at her even as he pets Sasuke’s hair, who is lying with his head on Naruto’s lap. “It is an emergency!”

Sai pauses over his notebook from where he is writing everything down – the official notetaker of this unofficial Team 7 meeting. “I did not think this qualified as an emergency,” he says, and he waits for someone to clarify. Normally he would ask Yamato-sensei, as the sanest member of their squad, but given he’s not here, and the meeting’s about him…

“It’s not,” Sakura refutes, and when Naruto tries to protest again. “I’m not saying it’s not IMPORTANT, dumbass, just that it’s not an emergency! Yamato-sensei’s dating life is not an emergency!”

Naruto scowls at her, his hand stilling, and Sasuke hits his arm until he resumes petting him, speaking up. “He’s not worried about Yamato-sensei’s love life,” he says. “Naruto’s worried about Iruka-sensei’s.”

There’s a pause as the rest of the team takes that in and decides that yeah, actually, that makes a lot more sense.

“Look,” Naruto says, and he’s extremely determined to get this across Without Anyone Stopping Him Thank You. “Iruka-sensei has a date with Yamato-sensei this Friday. We _need_ to make sure it goes well! Iruka-sensei deserves a nice boyfriend and Yamato-sensei will treat him nice! Not like _Kakashi-sensei,_ he reads _porn!_ ”

Sai stares at Naruto and puts down his notebook. “Naruto,” he says, with a patience very few possess, “Kakashi-sensei isn’t interested in Umino.”

“Iruka-sensei,” Naruto corrects, despite the fact that Umino Iruka has never been Sai’s teacher.

Another person might have rolled their eyes. Sai simply closes his and smiles, fake as can be. “Kakashi-sensei isn’t interested in Iruka-sensei,” he says again.

Naruto isn’t backing down. “I’ve seen them hanging out more and more!” he says, and waves his free arm wildly, the other still continue his Sasuke-pets. “He’s gotta be interested!”

“They’re probably just _friends,_ ” Sakura tells him, exasperated beyond measure. “People have those, you know.” She gestures around the room at their team, as if Team 7 has not graduated from being simply _friends_ into a weird codependent semi-platonic polycule.

“Kakashi-sensei doesn’t have friends,” Naruto refutes, and the rest of the room takes a step back mentally because shit, why is he using logic?

Kakashi-sensei has (1) rival and is _also_ a part of their weird codependent semi-platonic polycule. Not… friends.

When no one decides to argue against that – because that would be the epitome of stupidity for multiple reasons – he continues. “Listen, Iruka-sensei and Yamato-sensei have a date this Friday and-“

Sasuke loses his shit.

“Are you _kidding_ me?” he says, abruptly sitting up and truly joining the conversation. “They have a fucking date and you’re this concerned about Iruka-sensei dating Kakakashi-sensei? He’s got better taste than that, clearly, _if he has a fucking date._ ”

His second arm now freed, Naruto waves both of them wildly and shakes his head. “I don’t think it’s a date date!” he says, blue eyes curving into pleading puppy dog ones as he looks at his boyfriend. “They’re just spending some time together! We gotta make sure it goes right! No Kakashi-sensei crashing, we gotta turn it into something romantic, get them all _interested…_ ”

Sasuke, Sai, and Sakura share glances. They don’t know what galaxy brain Naruto is on right now, and they really, really don’t want to know.

“How about Sai and I distract Kakashi?” Sakura suggest. “You and Sasuke can go follow Yamato-sensei and Iruka-sensei around.” Sasuke scowls at her, about to protest, but she forges on before he can say a word. “If they spot you, you can pretend that _you’re_ on a date, and they won’t get suspicious or anything.”

Oh. That’s. Huh. So even if trying to set them up goes ridiculously wrong and absolutely pear-shaped (okay, he really needs to spend less time with Lee), Sasuke still gets a fun date with Naruto out of this. Hm. Sakura did get the best grades for a reason.

“Deal,” he says, without even glancing at Naruto for confirmation. “We set them up, you stop Kakashi-sensei.”

Sai furrows his brow deliberately, just slightly. “Sakura,” he starts to say. “I really don’t think-“

“Yeahthat’sgreatSai,” Sakura says in a rush and promptly yanks him out the apartment door before he can keep talking and ruin everything.

“Wait, I-“ he starts to say, but the door shuts in his face.

He left his notebook behind.

“Huh,” Naruto says, squinting at the door and clearly trying to figure out the byplay. Sasuke feels confident he won’t. “That was… weird?”

“They didn’t want to be here, idiot,” he says, and resettles himself in Naruto’s lap. “But we’re all in on your stupid plan, so you’re happy now, right?”

“Yeah!” he says happily, beaming down at his boyfriend. “This is gonna be great! I think I know what time they’re leaving, we’re gonna-“

“Naruto,” Sasuke says, frowning up at him. “Hand. Now.”

Without missing a beat, Naruto continues to chatter, except now petting his boyfriend, and Sasuke closes his eyes and drifts off into a nap.

* * *

Why did he agree to do this again.

“Why did I agree to do this again,” he asks, as he squats with Naruto on the rooftop adjacent to Iruka-sensei’s apartment building.

“Because you looooove me,” Naruto says from next to him and grins. “And you want Iruka-sensei to have a good boyfriend and not someone like Kakashi-sensei?”

Sasuke doesn’t point out that the polycule quite likes Kakashi-sensei, that’s why their fuck-up teacher was part of the polycule, nor does he point out the fact that he honest-to-god can’t remember the last time he talked to Iruka-sensei.

“I do love you,” he agrees, because that’s the one part of it he can wholeheartedly agree with, and Naruto leans over to lay a fat, wet, smacking kiss on his cheek.

“Disgusting,” Sasuke says, wiping it off. Naruto pouts. “…Do it again.”

They’re planting kisses all over each other’s faces while Naruto giggles when suddenly he jerks back with a gasp. “They’re moving!”

Sasuke glances at the streets below, and doesn’t see them. “How…”

“I turned a shadow clone into one of the plants by the stairs inside,” Naruto says, very smug.

Sasuke tries not to lose his mind again. “If you’re watching them with a shadow clone,” he says. “Then why are we waiting up here?”

Naruto pouts at him. “Plants can’t walk, Sasuke! We’ve gotta follow them from here.”

“Then why didn’t you turn your clone into a bug or something,” he grumbles, but he doesn’t fight him more. Sure enough, after a few minutes, Iruka-sensei and Yamato-sensei emerge… arm in arm? A lot cozier than the supposed “not REALLY a date” than Naruto had said, but Sasuke doesn’t think Naruto was lying about that claim. Probably just stupid.

Either way, Sasuke follows his stupid boyfriend from roof to roof as they follow their teachers.

“Where do you think they’re going?” Naruto asks.

Sasuke, who guesses literally the only reason their teachers haven’t noticed them is because they’re too wrapped up in each other which also means that they don’t have to be here, shrugs. Seriously, though.

Iruka-sensei and Yamato-sensei stand at about the same height, elbows linked, leaning into each other to quietly talk as they walk. Yamato-sensei says something and Iruka-sensei laughs, audible and with his cheeks tinted just a hair darker. He really, really doesn’t think they need any help.

Still, when they see the duo go into a restaurant, Sasuke and Naruto wait a few minutes for safety and then jump down and shuffle in.

“A table for two,” Sasuke asks. “Could we get a corner booth, if you have one?”

They do.

It means they have a fairly decent view of their teachers, at a table and…. holding hands, while Naruto and Sasuke are more difficult to spot, more hidden.

Naruto’s gawking, looking all around with wide eyes. “This is a nice place!” he says, but because they’re trying to be secret he’s smart enough to try to limit his volume, if only slightly.

Sasuke shakes his head. “We could get in here without a reservation, and there’s some empty tables,” he points out, and he opens the menu, squinting at the prices. “…It’s not that nice.” He’s been nicer.

Naruto shrugs and opens his menu as well, quitting his gawking with a roll of his eyes. “Looks nice enough to me,” he grumbles.

“Shut up and order,” Sasuke says.

It’s not bad by any means – it’s not a bad nice but budgeted place to eat, which probably fits because Sasuke honestly has no idea how much either of his teachers make? He never had to worry about money because literally all of the Uchiha money was his, and then he had everything Orochimaru had tucked away, and now he has both of those combined.

Either way he’s probably got more than these two teachers so this is probably a good place for them.

Naruto orders ramen and Sasuke gets a random rice dish that sounds appealing and then they both try to not look like they’re staring at Iruka-sensei and Yamato-sensei. Which they absolutely are.

“Yamto-sensei keeps looking away,” Naruto hisses, while Sasuke drinks his tea. He’s gonna need a lot of this to get through tonight.

“They’re holding hands,” he says, after burning his throat but scarcely feeling it. “I think he’s embarrassed.”

As if on cue, Iruka-sensei grins broadly at something. Yamato-sensei stares for a moment and then suddenly finds the drink menu extremely interesting, and Sasuke rolls his eyes. “See? What did I tell you. We don’t actually need to do anything.”

Naruto frets. “What can we do? Can we-“ His eyes light up. “Sasuke, can we buy them a dessert?”

He has the money. Sasuke shrugs. “Sure. Let’s get some dessert wine to go with it.”

They study the dessert menu together and Sasuke barely manages to talk Naruto down from sending over some brownie/fudge/ice cream monstrosity – “Idiot, if you like that one so much, _we_ can just get it.” – before they end up deciding on a simple chocolate cake and their server’s recommended dessert wine.

“Don’t tell them it’s from us, okay?” Naruto tells her, bright-eyed. “Tell them – tell them another guest sent it over cause they look so happy together.”

Sasuke is fairly certain he’s dating one of the weirdest people on the planet, but he just shovels some rice in his mouth and doesn’t say anything.

Naruto and Sasuke eat a lot faster, mostly because they’re not being lovey-dovey and romantic like Iruka-sensei and Yamato-sensei and are, in fact, on a self-imposed mission, so they get their monstrosity of a dessert first.

It’s rather fortunate that Sasuke’s on a date with _Naruto_ because sweet things have never… really been his thing. Still, he grabs a fork and takes a bite of the brownie and keeps glancing over at their teachers to watch for when theirs arrive.

And they are taking their time. Sasuke could technically listen in on their conversation if he wanted to, but he genuinely has no desire to listen to whatever sappy shit they’re saying to each other. Soft looks. Soft laps. Hands that have stayed connected the entire fucking meal, which is impressive because Sasuke would never want to eat dinner while holding Naruto’s hand.

It’s sickening sweet. Even moreso than the brownie.

But, finally, a server brings over the wine and the cake. “Hey,” Sasuke says, and his boyfriend looks up and then glances over, chocolate syrup smeared at the corner of his mouth.

Yamato-sensei’s cheeks tint, and Iruka-sensei’s eyes practically sparkle and it’s soooo sweet that Sasuke looks away. Instead, he licks his thumb and reaches over the table, wiping the syrup from Naruto’s mouth easily. “You had some chocolate,” he says, and Naruto grins at him.

* * *

When everything’s paid and done for and eaten – and yes, Naruto actually managed to finish all the dessert, the fuck – Sasuke’s feeling not too bad about tonight. It’s a nice date, even if they had to sneak here and stealthily send their teachers wine and dessert, but he’s not complaining.

At least, until Naruto reaches over to tap his hand. “Hey,” he says. “They’re leaving, we gotta follow them.”

The bill _is_ paid, so they can just stand up and do that, but Sasuke squints at him. “Why?” he asks. “Are we just following them home?”

“They might keep going!” Naruto insists, grabbing Sasuke’s hand and pulling him out of his seat as their teachers disappear through the door.

It isn’t really late at all, Sasuke has to grant him – they probably will do something else. Sasuke really does not give a shit, though, and he’s very positive that they can _handle themselves._

And yet he finds himself dragged along anyway.

They follow them along the rooftops again, just as content and linked as before, and a movie theatre is their next stop. Naruto sends in a shadow clone to wait in line behind them and figure out what movie they’re watching and it promptly buys them both tickets.

“Sasuke,” Naruto asks, after Iruka-sensei and Yamato-sensei have headed to their theatre and they can emerge into view. “Can we get some snacks?”

“What the fuck,” says Sasuke. “You just ate a brownie the size of your head.”

They get snacks.

The movie is some princess bullshit that Naruto is absolutely enthralled by and Sasuke can’t give two shits about. It’s not starring the princess that they once did a mission with – he thinks it’s about her character’s daughter or cousin or something, but he’s honestly not paying that much attention.

Instead, he watches Yamato-sensei and Iruka-sensei. He sees the aborted awkwardness when they _both_ try to do the ridiculous ‘stretching and then swinging an arm around your chair’ move at the _exact fucking time._ He can’t hear their exchange – the two are whispering, of course, quiet as can be, and Sasuke and Naruto are a few seats behind them – but it ends with neither of them having an arm around the chairs.

Instead, Yamato-sensei slings an arm around Iruka, and Iruka puts up the armrest in between them and leans into him and Sasuke is going to gag.

He manages to hold it in.

(Instead, he flips up his armrest and the one of the seat next to him, and lays down and puts his head in Naruto’s lap. Naruto keeps forgetting to pet his head because he’s so taken in by the on-screen explosions, but it’s better than actually _watching_ the movie, so it works.)

They make sure to slip out first, not wanting Iruka-sensei or Yamato-sensei to spot them, and they flip up to the roof to argue.

“We need to make sure nothing goes wrong!” Naruto insists. “The movie wasn’t _that_ long, maybe they have one more spot!”

“If they’re going on a big three-part date like this,” Sasuke argues, “I _don’t think they need our help._ Have you seen them!? You didn’t even do anything to help them during the movie!”

“Sasukeeeeeeeee,” Naruto whines, turning big ol puppy eyes on him. Sasuke hates how susceptible to them he is. “I’ll never be able to sleep if we don’t make sure! I’ll be up all night and I’ll keep YOU up all night and it’ll suck for both of us!”

Naruto can fall asleep in just about any fucking situation and that’s absolute bullshit but because Sasuke is a good, kind, wonderful boyfriend ~~and has nothing better to do tonight~~ , he sighs and shakes his head. “Fine. But if they make a fourth stop we’re gone. Deal?”

“Deal!” Naruto beams, and they watch for their teachers to emerge.

It takes them a little longer than it should, and sure enough, when the two emerge they aren’t heading back in the direction of Iruka-sensei’s apartment. (Sasuke supposes they could be going to Yamato-sensei’s, since he _still_ doesn’t know where that’s located it, but it’s doubtful Naruto will let them assume.)

He’s right for not assuming.

Their next destination? A nice cocktail bar.

Naruto flails and nearly falls off the roof and Sasuke forces them both to the ground out of concern. “What?” he asks.

“I can’t go in there!” Naruto says, flailing his arms. “Iruka-sensei would kill me!”

Sasuke… squints at him. “We’re adults,” he says, because they legally became adults at twelve, the moment they became genin. “We can get a drink. And it’s not like they’d see us.”

He actually sees no appeal in alcohol, but whatever, he can suck it up. They sneak in, order drinks for them and shoot it their way, and then hopefully Naruto will let them _leave._

“No way!” Naruto says, shaking his head. “It doesn’t matter! He’d find out somehow and he’d be SO disappointed in me!”

Sasuke’s very positive that Naruto’s exaggerating and if he was being safe about alcohol Iruka-sensei would be fine with it, but going down that line of conversation is just stupidity. “Okay,” he says instead. “Why don’t you wait out here, I sneak in there and buy them some drinks, and then we both go home?”

“Or you could both go home now,” a mild, familiar voice states.

Slowly, impending doom hanging over their heads, the boys turn. Iruka-sensei stands, glaring with his hands on his hips. Yamato-sensei looms next to him, a terrifying expression on his face. “Naruto,” Iruka-sensei demands. “What are you doing here?”

Naruto is quiet for .2 seconds before he explodes. “I wanted to make sure you had a good date and you fall in love and stuff because I really want you to be happy Iruka-sensei and I was worried and-“

Sasuke kicks him. Naruto shuts up. There’s a softness to Iruka-sensei’s face, though, and Yamato-sensei isn’t quite as intimidating. The latter addressing him, flickering his gaze to Sasuke’s face. “Sasuke?”

He shrugs. “Naruto dragged me along. You two seem to have it handled.”

They both- _blush,_ a little at that, and yeah they definitely need each other if two grown men can blush this easy. “Well,” Iruka-sensei says, clearing his throat a little bit. “Thank you for the wine and dessert. Now both of you can _go home._ ” He takes Yamato-sensei’s hand and glares at them. “We need to finish our _date._ ”

Naruto’s eyes are wide. “You’re gonna go drink cocktails?” he asks, and Sasuke is officially buying something at the store for Naruto to drink if he’s gonna be like this. He’s had alcohol right? Probably. During the years when Sasuke was AWOL at LEAST.

Iruka-sensei looks like he’s _daring_ Naruto to comment, but Yamato-sensei gives a very slight shake of his head. “We needed to lure you out.” Sasuke’s not sure if he’s telling the truth, but he honestly doesn’t care. They can drink if they want.

He switches from wide-eyed to crestfallen in just a moment. “Wait, but… how long did you know we were there?”

“You’re not exactly quiet, Naruto,” says Iruka-sensei, and he shakes his head. “Go home. Okay?”

“We’ll go home,” Sasuke says, because they know him well enough to know that’s what _he_ wants. “Enjoy your date, senseis. Come _on,_ Naruto.”

He grabs him by the hand and starts dragging him down the street. He’s _literally_ dragging Naruto for a few seconds before the other finally starts picking up his feet and they walk, hand-in-hand.

“How long do you think they knew?” Naruto asks.

“From the beginning,” Sasuke says. He doesn’t say that he and Iruka-sensei made eye contact at one point and got a smile, and Sasuke pressed a finger to his lips because Naruto was having too much fun pretending to be a secret.

Naruto groans, and Sasuke huffs in amusement, and glances back.

Iruka-sensei and Yamato-sensei are kissing.

He watches them for a moment, not needing his full attention to walk, before he turns to Naruto instead and leans in, pressing a kiss to his cheek. Naruto blinks. “What was that for?” he asks.

“Felt like it,” Sasuke says, and they walk home together.

**Author's Note:**

> this is later than i wanted it to be... but it's done and it's finished! thanks for reading, and hkandi, i hope you like it!
> 
> (also kakashi n iruka are absolutely hanging out bc they're swapping yamato stories and yamato's just fucking dying in the corner why would both of u do this to me)
> 
> as always, you can find me on tumblr at **ftcoye** for my writing blog, **chadsuke** for my personal, and i'm also **chadsuk3** on twitter. thanks for reading again!!


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